If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
