Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
