actually, I'm a sock model
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
false alarm. still invincible.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She even gives head with a lisp.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
