Whod you bang
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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