Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize