Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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