it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
