We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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