Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
