maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
