I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
