Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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