awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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