Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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