he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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