i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
