Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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