Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
one might say we're banned from that church
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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