like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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