I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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