I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
