i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
he quoted the bible to break up with me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Randomize