Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I am puke
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
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