Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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