i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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