My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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