if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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