why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!