Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home