thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
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