she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
