I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
