I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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