But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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