wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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