just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
