chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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