my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
