We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
