508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
