I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
im on a boat
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