You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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