i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
