Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize