i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
