thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
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Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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