I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
