I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
