You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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