xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
