She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
