This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize