That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
