Where did you get a picture of my penis
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
