Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
