So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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