Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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