so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
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She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
it's like heaven, but drunker
I will be naked everywhere
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true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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