If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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