soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
