I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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