Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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