I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
