My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
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As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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