You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
