Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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